Psalm 139:13-16

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Gifts for Grace - a day of giving

Thanks to our pastor, Jonathan, and a dear friend, Kathy, we will have a day of giving to honor the life of our precious Grace and her Creator on February 27.  Check out our pastor's blog post for more information.

What an amazing way to honor the life of our baby girl!  We are humbled and overwhelmed by the love and prayers of not only our church family, but also our families, friends, and even strangers from around the world!  Words cannot express how much this has meant to us.

To know the possibility of children living eternally with our Father because of the gifts of others honoring the life of our baby girl moves me to tears.  This is what we have prayed for since learning of Grace's diagnoses.  God continues to use her life to draw others nearer to Him in amazing ways.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Yesterday, we had an appointment with Dr. B in the ADU for a biophysical profile (BPP).  The biophysical profile is an ultrasound that looks at fluid, breathing, movement, and tone.  Everything was fine.  We will now go weekly to the ADU for BPPs, and we will also start going weekly to our OB (the other Dr. B) for BPPs.  Basically, they are looking at viability.  The only other thing we learned was that Grace is breech!  I love her personality!

We also had an appointment with our palliative care nurse practitioner and doctor (another Dr. B).  We talked about many things, and started working on a care plan for Grace.  We made all the decisions we need to make up until Grace is born.  I feel like I should preface this by saying that Chad and I have mulled over these decisions for three months now.  We are the type of people that look at consumer reports just to buy a camera.  So needless to say, we have prayed many, many prayers, along with many others, about the decisions we would have to make for our precious baby girl.  These are the hardest decisions we have ever had to make.  You may not understand them, but they are the right ones for us and for Grace.  We pray that you will understand our hearts.  Every decision that we made is based on what is best for Grace and her quality of life.

-We decided to have a C-section delivery.  I will only have an epidural so that I be as awake/aware as possible.  I want to spend the most time that I can with Grace.
-We decided to make Grace a DNR (do not resuscitate).  This means that if she is born not breathing or without a heart beat, we will not have anything done to resuscitate her (no CPR, no meds, no intubation, no mechanical ventilation).
-Grace will most likely have an MRI shortly after birth, and if we decide yes to surgery, she will probably have surgery to repair the encephalocele the day after she is born.  (Can I just say I HATE the word encephalocele??)
-We also talked about funeral options if Grace does not live.  We haven't made these decisions yet, but we just want to have those plans taken care of so that we do not have to make those decisions later. 

God has given me such peace that these are the right decisions.  I am so thankful for that.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Celebrating the Life of Grace

Saturday, my dear friends Anna, Leanne, and Hart helped me with family and friends celebrate the life of our precious Grace Elizabeth.  This celebration replaced a typical baby shower for Grace.  Before we knew of Grace's diagnoses, my friend Anna had wanted to give us a baby shower, but after learning of Grace's diagnoses, I had decided not to have a baby shower for various reasons.  Mostly, I didn't want to ask others to give us lots of things that we may not need, and since Chad and I don't have a big house, I also didn't want to later have a lot of baby things that we didn't need and be unable to store all of it.  So for these and other reasons, we decided to have a "celebration of life" for Grace.  Words are inadequate to thank Anna, Leanne, and Hart for blessing Grace and me in this way.  I am so thankful that so many people who love Grace were in one place!  Anna prayed, and we all spent time together eating brunch, looking at Grace's ultrasound pictures, and making memories.  Many people wrote a prayer, a blessing, or an encouraging word for Grace and me.  I will treasure these always!  Many people also gave gifts, which I opened later, and I am amazed at the amount of love for our baby.  Thank you will never be enough.  I gave everyone purple Christmas ornaments to let them know how thankful I am for their prayers and love for our family and that they forever will be a part of Grace's life.  Here are some pictures:

Anna, me, and Leanne

Hart and me

Grace's wreath

Purple Christmas ornaments

My mom Patricia, me, and my sister Kristen

Chad and I continue to celebrate Grace.  We also continue to pray for a miracle.  A friend of mine recently gave me an encouraging message, and it perfectly described what a miracle means.  She said she is praying for us and for a miracle for Grace "whether that be her healing or for many people to see God's grace and mercy and salvation through a difficult and painful situation".  This is my prayer also. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Precious Baby Girl

We got to see our precious Grace yesterday via ultrasound!  It was Chad's birthday also...what a great birthday present!  She is beautiful!  We are amazed at her beauty.  We love her so much and can't wait to meet her!

We are still struggling with making the best decisions for Grace, as well as trying to hang in there because so much of this is unknown and will be unknown until Grace is born.  She is 31 weeks old today.  Praise God for miraculous life!

I love this picture!  Grace gave us the peace sign!  We are praying for peace with decisions and in the middle of so many unknowns.  Grace was saying to her Momma and Daddy "It's ok...I'm ok!"  

She is perfectly beautiful!

I just want to kiss her sweet cheeks!