Important Post if you Want to Keep Following my Blog :)

Hi again!  I am still trying to figure out how to make my blog private.  If you are already a follower, I would LOVE if you still followed us (if you would like).  If you are new, please also feel free to follow us.  I think I have to have your email address if you want to follow the blog.  You can either comment here with your email address, or email me (kgolden77@gmail.com) - just be sure to put in the subject "blog follower" or something like that so that I don't accidentally delete it!  I will wait a little longer to make it private.  Also, I need to work on watermarking all of my photos, if someone has any advice, how-to, insight on that I would love to hear from you!

Thanks!

Privacy

Hey friends! So sorry I haven't blogged in so long! The kids have been doing some awesome things lately! Grace said "I love you, Mama" on Mother's Day, Micah has been walking for several months, and Grace has learned how to climb in and out of our recliner. ☺️ I plan to upload some pictures and videos when I can get on the computer.

I wanted to write to let you know I will be making my blog private soon. Recently, someone stole a picture from my blog and used it on Facebook to bully and harass others in a support group. I am disappointed, hurt, and angry. I hate to have to do this and I hope that this action doesn't turn anybody away. I am still learning what it means to have a private blog, so please be patient with me.

Waiting Follow Up

So I've been thinking about my last post, and I've decided that the follow up post needs to be about what if God never answers our prayers in the way that we want?  What then?  What do we believe about Him then?  And really just to bookmark/archive this so that I can always remember and come back to it, I am posting here two different sermons I have listened to recently about waiting, wandering, and discerning prayer.  If you have the time, please listen!  The first one is from my personal pastor, who is amazing!  And the second is from another pastor in our area who is also amazing!

1. http://www.raymondroad.com/messages

Listen to the message from Feb 15, 2015, "What To Do When Wandering"



2. http://pinelake.org/media-resources/sermons/ministering-to-the-lord/

Here is the one from my friend's pastor.  Thank you, Beth!

Waiting

I'm sure you thought we moved to a new planet with no internet.  I'm so sorry to have skipped over the end of the year holidays and five months of time!  We had a very blessed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years as a family of four!  We have been busy with parties, illnesses, work, school, and everyday life.

I have been wanting to write this post for probably a month now.  The truth it there's just not much to say.  I am waiting.

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Not much has changed over these past five months.  Sure, we have an almost 4 year old and an almost 1 year old (ahhh!!!) and they change and grow and learn every day.  They teach me so much and are truly my greatest joy in life.  I'm so thankful God chose me to be a mother!

But I say I'm waiting because I am waiting on God to answer my prayer.  I am waiting for Him to give Grace the ability to walk!

She has made a lot of progress over the past four months.  She is balancing a lot better and has gained a lot more confidence in standing and walking with help.  But as you recall I prayed/begged/pleaded with God to allow Grace to walk by Christmas.  And that prayer wasn't answered.

And I've been wondering why.  Am I not doing my part?  Am I not praying enough?  Do I not have enough faith?  Am I trying to manipulate God?  Do Grace and I work enough?  What is it that God is trying to teach me in the waiting?

I feel Him telling me to wait and be still.  Slow down and be quiet.  He is whispering - I am here.

I pray that He gives Grace and me the strength and endurance we need in the waiting.  The positive attitude to never give up.  Why, Lord, are we waiting?

I don't know why God is moving my hand to write today, but maybe you are waiting too.  What is it that you are waiting on that God just hasn't yet answered in the way you hope?

Are you waiting on healing?  Been there.  What about moving a heart to salvation?  Are you waiting on Him to lift you out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire?  For Him to break the power of addiction?  Waiting on Him to redeem or restore?  Waiting to feel Him and His presence in the every day?  Waiting to no longer feel alone?  Waiting on a positive test?  Or a partner to join with in this life?  Waiting on Him to fulfill?

God is speaking to me and now I hope to you and saying --- you are not alone.  Child, listen, you are not alone.

He is here.  He is with you.  He will never leave you.  He is here in the waiting.

I am loving Kari Jobe's song I Am Not Alone right now.  It is my song in this season.  In deep waters and in the fire, I will not be overcome.  Lord you fight my every battle, and I will not fear!  You're my strength and my defender.  Through these trials you've always been faithful.  I'm so thankful for these promises and words of truth!

I want to use my time of waiting wisely.  I want to learn.  Oh Lord, teach me!

I have seen you in the sanctuary, Lord.  I have beheld your power and your glory.  I trust you!

I am not alone.  You are here.  Emmanuel.  Amen.

Update on Big Sister

I know it's been a long time since I posted about Grace.  We have been a busy little family!  She is doing great!  Continuing to adjust to being a big sister.  She seems to like Micah now more than ever.  She is doing awesome in school, and learning new things every day.  She is talking more, now that she is using her communication board.  She continues to sing, but is saying some words more clearly now, like her name, Jesus, scat (after a sneeze), and yay (while clapping).  She is rocking fine motor skills.  Most recently, I got her a play piggy bank, and after I showed her once or twice how to do it, she could put the coins in, open and close the door on the side to get the coins out, and press the piggy's nose to make it play music.  I was amazed!  She is closer than ever to taking independent steps.  Today in PT, her therapist held only Grace's right hip and gave her a little support and helped shift her weight and Grace stepped on her own.  I wish so bad I would've thought to video it.  Next time, I will!  Her therapist today said she wants to see her walking to trick or treat!  Friends, please join with us in praying for this big milestone!

Time is Flying!

Well somehow Micah is 6 months old!  Time flies!

I just wanted to write a post about him for his half birthday.  So much has happened over the past six months, and I don't want to forget what life is like right now.

He is happy and healthy!  He weighs 17 lb, and he is in size 3 diapers, and wears 6-9 month clothes.  I am still breastfeeding (one of my proudest accomplishments!), and we just started eating solids, which he loves!  His favorite things are momma and daddy, sissy, Maddy, eating, smiling, baths, his toes and anything else he can put in his mouth, jumping, people watching, cuddling with mommy, and sitting up!  I love our afternoon naps, his cute little forehead wrinkles, his curled fourth toes, the way he always smells like milk, and watching him grow and develop.  Truly, typical development amazes me!

I can't believe he is 6 months old!  What a blessing and joy he is in our lives!  Our family is complete with Micah James!

I Lost It

I lost it tonight.  I hit an all time low.

I was trying to work with Grace on her walking with her cane.  I've been convicted lately about how little we get to work on walking, as well as how little I think to pray about it, so I have a new focused effort to work really hard and do my part in achieving this milestone.

Tonight, Grace was not having it.  I tried to force her for probably a good five minutes, as she fought and cried (hard).  The floor was wet with tears.  Then I lost it.  I yelled at my precious daughter.  Out of anger and frustration (toward her challenges, not her), I yelled.  At my daughter who doesn't have the ability yet to walk.  I immediately burst into tears.  I ugly cried for the first time in a long time.  After a minute of crying, I ran back to Grace and scooped her up and apologized a thousand times.  Saying "Mommy loves you," and "I'm sorry," and "I love you just the way you are."  I hated myself for yelling at my daughter who didn't deserve it.

I still hate myself for that moment of weak humanity.  The desperation I feel in my heart for Grace to achieve this milestone is overwhelming.  I want it for her (she will love it), and I want it for us (our backs will be thankful).  Why, God, why have you not given her this ability yet???

I don't understand.  Have you ever watched your child to struggle to achieve every little thing?  Every little thing that should come so easily?  Because I have.  One the one hand, like I said, the desperation is overwhelming.  I want to just do it for her.  I would give everything I have to take away her challenges.  EVERYTHING.  On the other hand, the struggle has taught us to truly celebrate every tiny victory.  Nothing goes unnoticed.

After the ordeal tonight, it was time for bath.  It hit me.  Last week, I taught Grace a new song.  I'm not sure what it's called, but the words are "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do.  My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do.  The mountains are his, the valleys are his, the stars are his handiwork too.  My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do."  Grace knew the song the next night.  :)

So tonight, we had our nightly concert, and I began to sing this song.  I got the first words out, and the tears started flowing again.  My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY, there's NOTHING my God cannot do.

Lord, I give this to you.  Grace will not walk because of anything I do, or any amount of time or energy I spend working with her.  God, it will be because of YOU.  Please, Lord, touch her body and allow her to walk.  I want you to receive the glory for this miracle you will accomplish in her life.  I give it to you.  Take away my selfish desire.  This is in your hands.  Every victorious mountain is yours.  Help me walk through this valley with grace.  Thank you for who you are and for all you have done in Grace's life.

Please, friends, approach the Throne of Grace and ask for our Father to allow Grace to walk.  We will praise him for this miracle!