Sometimes I want to run away. From Grace's diagnoses. From her daily therapy. From the delays. From the questions. From my fear. From the constant reminders that my perfect baby is not "normal"...that she has special needs.
I thought that once Grace had surgery to remove her encephalocele that I would never have to see or hear that ugly word again. But the truth is it will follow her the rest of her life. It's part of her identity. But so is the fact that she is a miracle, the love of my life, a mix of sweet and feisty, beautiful, and 100% perfect.
God was not surprised by her diagnoses. He is her Creator. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. All of the days ordained for her were written in His book before one of them came to be. He is not surprised by what she is and will go through, or what we are and will go through as her parents. His peace passes understanding. He is near to us when we struggle. And sometimes He has to carry us.
This song has given me hope and peace when I struggle. I often struggle with the fact that since God is all powerful, why couldn't He have completely healed Grace so that she and we would not have to struggle with this. But for whatever reason, only He knows, this was part of His plan for her and us. Only in Heaven will we experience perfection.
So, my hope is in You, Lord, all the day long...