Psalm 139:13-16

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Blessings

So, I've kinda had a long day today.  I guess I'm just feeling emotional or tired, or both.  Nothing special happened today...just changing diapers, feeding a hungry baby, burping a crying baby who just wants to eat some more, etc.  I didn't even put on makeup or fix my hair.

I know I've posted about our daily exercises, but we've added some exercises recommended by the speech therapist we saw Monday.  I watched the speech therapist do the exercises with Grace Monday, but I did them for the first time myself today.  She.HATED.them.  We had major tears.  It was so sad.  Then I started crying and got sad thinking about all of the extra things we have to do for Grace (which really is nothing compared to some other babies).  I just thought why does she have to go through all this and why can't she just be like any other "normal" baby??  I quickly felt extreme guilt for my self pity, because AT LEAST I HAVE A BABY.

I try to be thankful, but it's just plain hard sometimes.  But I WILL be thankful for all the blessings in my life, because God has surely showered them on my family and me.  I will give thanks to Him because He is good.  His mercies are unending and new.  His love carries me.  He is always faithful and true.  He has redeemed my life.  He blessed me with a miracle. 

This is my new favorite song!  Going through everything we have been through since October has given me a new perspective about many things, and this song reminds me of God's faithfulness to us.


Also, here are our latest photos!


8 comments:

  1. i love this song too!! i love your posts and updates about grace! loving you through prayers!!

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  2. She is just so precious! Honey, we all have good days and bad days. It does not mean you are not thankful. You're entitled. We all know how much you love that little girl. You're in my prayers always.

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  3. Hi! My mom forwarded me the link to your blog- she works with one of your friends who emailed the link to her. I totally understand how you feel- I have a 7 month old little boy with some brain abnormalities and developmental delays. I understand the guilt when you are having a bad day and just wish your baby was "normal". I understand doing OT excercises because you have to, but you would rather just cuddle with your baby because then he won't scream. And I understand feeling so overwhelmed with thankfulness because you wouldn't want any other baby. I love the song "Blessings" too- my friend forwarded the link to it a few weeks ago. It fits perfectly in our situations. I hope you don't mind me following your blog- it helps me tremendously to read about people going through similar things as me. I have a blog too and it is the best therapy! Praying for your sweet Grace (she is adorable!)
    Elizabeth

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  4. It's okay for you to be sad. It really is. It doesn't mean you don't love Grace, and of course there are always babies who have it worse. You're a wonderful mom, and you need to cut yourself some slack. (((hugs)))

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  5. Sweet mommy, all babies make us a wee bit frustrated at times. They do grow up and needs change. When you feel like things are just so repetitive, take a bit of a break. Pulling weeds or playing in the dirt in my garden are my sanity restoration tricks. Maybe just a quick walk outside with Grace will be something you can do when the weather is calm and warm. ♥♫

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  6. "Normal" or extra ordinary babies test Momma's fears and doubts when we compare to any other baby. So do not feel bad, guilty or shameful, you know she is a blessing and your feelings are so what any momma has felt and will feel for ever. Grace has the most pefect for the most perfect baby.
    Sending you much love and prayers, Lissa Gressley

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  7. it is MORE than okay to have this kind of day!! you are normal and God knows it :). motherhood is draining sometimes no matter what the situation and it does not mean we mamas are not MORE than grateful!! thanks for keeping it real.

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